Today is just no good. I feel really down and bad about myself today. I am tired, sluggish and just want to crawl back into bed. I feel fat today. I want to be skinny NOW. I really am the most impatient person ever and I suspect that's why I continually fail at my diet/exercise attempts. I don't get the results I want soon enough and I give up. Logically I know how stupid that is, but I've never been very logical about my self image. Years of abuse in my first marriage marred that and I'm not sure I will ever fully recover from how I felt about myself for so long. I believed so many bad things about me...
I lost SO much weight when I got divorced. It was liberating and I felt SO good! I want that feeling back! I want to look in the mirror and do a double take because the image I see is one to be proud of... it's skinny me!!! Please come back skinny girl... come save me from myself!
I totally failed at my diet yesterday. I was doing so well until I got home and had to deal with my kids. It was too much and I lost it and ate food NOT included in a healthy eating plan... somehow a slice of pizza and a ding dong were consumed. I went WAY over my allotted calories for the day - which wouldn't have been so bad, but I didn't exercise at all either. NOT ONE BIT. Grrrrr.......... (that's me growling at myself for not doing anything).
SO. Today is a brand new day and even though I feel like crap, I am resolved to eat well today and freaking exercise when I get home! I have no excuse. My kids go to their dad's tonight and my baby will nap. I will tackle that damn treadmill when I get home. And then reward myself with a hot relaxing bath after. Ahhhhh....
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